Finish What I've Started.

/Friday, May 29, 2009 / Friday, May 29, 2009

little girl is moving!!!little girl is!
i dun want any man-made dilation to my v.,if possible. i dun want it to tear up. i am really afraid that i cant go through the pain and just stop there. but i want to bear this baby for chowchow, just for him.for him to know that he's worth all the pain that i gone tru. never in my life i wanted something so badly, i went all the way to achieve it because i know its worth it.

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every night i pray, i pray for everyone,everything. but for myself. i mumbled. if God is able to bless these ppl, then my life will be fulfilled. i want to share the blessings that God gave me to everyone i love. i dun need any, i thought. because i live for the ppl around me. i'm not trying to be a saint, to sound like a noble man. as the days get closer, i am afraid of depression. i am typing all these because i'm afraid if im down with dep. i wont be able to express. i think alot. i think of my dad's health,which i will cry everytime i think of it. my mum, my bro, my friends, my baby, and the one i live for-weiliang.
never have i believed that i cant live without anyone, but it is he, who makes living a colorful one. the feeling of knowing that we both respect each other as married individuals. as i sit along the window,the wind howled, i faced my true self. the one im most afraid of . i want this baby of mine to grow up heathyly, safely and normally. i want to bear a healthy baby for the sake of my husband, and everyone around me. You know, you know that my bark is louder then my bite. sometimes i didint mean to say harsh words. its just me. if there is any retribution, put it onto me.
since the very day i know about little girl presence, i made a promise to you, my Lord, if everyone were to allow my love to be born, then i'l do my prayer everyday. and its been more then 170 days i've done it without fail, i've nothing much more to say, other then it is Your grace, that bestowed chowchow and i the chance for a miracle to happen(:

-Wendi

P.s: all these are my heart-felt words.